I was having a hard time forgiving myself. After a few months the scar on Christen’s neck was barely even noticeable. However, I knew it was still there, and if she caught me looking at it than she would pull her hair over it an apologize; like it was her fault that her best friend had attacked her.
Marcel had wanted to move back into her room, but I could not risk hurting her, so Christen and I switched rooms. Not that Christen didn’t complain, that to me was the only good part of the whole thing. Hearing Christen complain about moving out of her room was at least something normal, and not the tense feeling that had grown in the dorm.
Nolen was watching me, and that only made things more tense. He always played it off cool though.
“Lilith, do you wanna hang out?” or “Lilith, how you holding up?” And even “Lilith, Chris and I are going to the park, wanna play fetch?”
He was always super smooth with it, but he was trying to hard for it to be real. He didn’t trust me anymore, and I couldn’t blame him. I tried to eat his baby sister; had anyone attacked me like that Bradley would have killed them.
I tried to put myself back into my writing, but all I thought of nowadays were horror stories… granted I did get a few of them published, but not by big name companies.
I also tried to get back into reading, it was the only thing I got from Waters these days. He was sending me my favorite books as they came out, and a note saying how happy he was at his college in Sunset City. I wanted to be happy for him, but every time I sent a letter to him asking about when we could ever see each other again I never got a reply. He was detached from me and I knew it… I had to let go.
Michael Rivers was doing radio shows now, and at first I was super happy to sit there and listen to him go on about his books, and his plans to slowly reveal himself. Unfortunately after listening for months about how he’s so glad that people spend money on him, and gushing about the fan mail he gets, and how lucky we readers are that he even does these talk shows, I stopped listening.
I still read his books, but that was for two reasons. One, I was getting them for free from an ex boyfriend that probably only still sent them to me because he felt bad that he got my virginity the night that my big brother died and then ditched me in my time of need to pursue his own dream. And Two, I loved his writing, maybe not HIM anymore because he was cocky and stuck up, but his books still held my heart for the story they told.
I began to let Christen come in to my room so that we could both read, and then she started getting me to come out to play with her and Nolen. Things were starting to get back to normal little by little. I was letting go of all parts of my past, granted it was a super slow process; like friendship wise we had all started our second year of college, but it was progressing.
Than I got a weird letter from Waters. He wanted to see me again, and was sorry for not getting to my letters. He missed me, and had even packed three tickets to Sunset City for me, Bradley, and Daddy. I was going to go home for fall break, so here’s to hoping I wasn’t going alone.